Lingerie

Day Thirteen (Sunday September 13th) Scared of lingerie shopping.

Ever have those out of body experiences? Well, that’s pretty much me in a lingerie shop. I don’t know why this is. Perhaps a scaring incident that involved my sister a few years back. Perhaps not. Regardless, I can’t help but wonder what guys are feeling when they walk into a lingerie shop. Horrified? Horny? Humbled they’re not a woman? Envious they’re not a woman? So I asked my dad…

‘Dad, how do you feel in a lingerie shop?’ He gives me a questioning side glance so I continue, ‘Like a woman’s lingerie shop!’

“OH! That! It’s exciting,” he says. “Don’t get in there much.” He pauses and bounces back with, “then again, I don’t get out much.” Oh God, I think. He continues, “It’s fun, usually have a few laughs. Get in there and ask the ladies to show me [some] stuff.” I’m pretty sure he  said “their stuff” but I’m hoping I just misheard him. He comes full stop (from buttering his bun with Becel/plastic shit which is an entirely different story and argument in our house) and asks, “Why are you asking, Maddi? You’re weirding me out.” End of conversation.

I really do enjoy beautiful undergarments; it’s just the process of getting them! As we all know, undergarments are a necessity, so this is a fear I have faced before and will face time and time again. Off I go.

I do not go alone, as the idea of a strange woman; usually old and usually foreign, as my aid comforts me in no way. I am careful with my selection of who comes; usually a very close friend and usually someone who loves lingerie shopping. So we go.

My girlfriend gets right into it! She picks through the piles like some skilled specialist in the art of lingerie. It all reminded me a bit of watching discovery channel when they’re illustrating how animals are so instinctive in their behaviour and quite proficient. She’s standing there holding them up over her clothes and then there are the massive piles of thongs and bins of bras and the loud-talking sales woman and there I am, mortified amongst it all, thinking, there’s really nothing romantic about this… The mass produced thongs, the bright lights, the loud talking sales women with microphones to correspond with other sales associates… Maybe I’m just going to the wrong shops all together!

I hope I haven’t tainted lingerie for any of the men out there or taken away the allure of it, but truth is, these magical items don’t just exist in our drawers, they have to be bought and for some of us, this can be quite a painful experience.

I didn’t think a picture of me in my new purchases was suitable, nor PG rated so there are no photos to go along with this post.

See The Awesome-ness of fear for what this 100 day challenge is all about.

Now go face a fear; do something that scares you!

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5 thoughts on “Lingerie

  1. sissy says:

    So do you just not wear underwear most of the time then?? Hahha and what is this “scarring incident” you speak of??

  2. sk says:

    this is why internet shopping is sooooooooooooo populaire!

  3. Braden says:

    What about bees? I’m afraid of bees more than ass-less chaps.

  4. M.K. Rundle says:

    Funny you should mention bees! I’m in search of a bee farm to face that fear. First day of grade one… attacked by an entire nest! First date… stung by a freaking wasp! I’m going to face these bastards and take their honey!!!

  5. […] Lingerie shopping. The idea turns my stomach upside-down. […]

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