Category Archives: Fears

stay hungry. stay foolish.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

“Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

RIP Steve Jobs, the Willy Wonka of Electronics

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28 Days with a Grateful Heart ♥ Day 7

I am grateful for FEARS.

Fears teach us that good can come from bad; that we can learn something from our darkest days, and that we are not invincible, but we sure can overcome a lot. Fears bring out vulnerabilities that are that much better when we even just scratch the surface. Fears are natural. Fears are something we can all overcome and learn a lot about ourselves along the way.

I’m forever thankful for fears because without them – I’d be lost.

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23 things I’ve learned in my 23 years on earth.

Another year nearly behind us…

Here are a few things I’ve gathered so far while living this thing called life.

In no particular order:

1. The world does not come at us, it comes from us and it is where we aim that determines where we go, where we stand, and where we end up. Reach for your goals unquestionably and bravely; no one else is going to do it for you! It’s not a question of possibility, it’s a question of when.

2. Be happy for others! There is no comparing anyone in the world. Ever hear the saying that we are all unique? Well, it’s not a crock of shit… it’s true, so stop comparing yourself to anyone. Comparing gets you nowhere. Being happy for others will bring you so much peace and joy, so start doing it!

3. Asshole boys don’t make for good boyfriends. Asshole people don’t make for good friends. Your life will catapult into infinity once you gain the confidence to set them free.

4. Seek out the greatness in others and you’ll find it! Become a believer! It’s a whole lot easier to be a non-believer but start believing there is a lot more good in the world than there is bad. Believe that life is an adventure that should be lived with passion. Believe that your friends are the best people in the world. Believe that miracles come from the goodness of people’s hearts. Believe that you are in control of your destiny.

5. If some dude rejects you, I guarantee you that more than likely, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Don’t take it personally. IN FACT, stop taking anything personally… It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. This works both ways though, so keep yourself in check too! (See #7)

6. You can’t explain everything, so stop trying. Stop thinking about it. Stop losing sleep over it. Stop stressing about it. Stop. Let it go and breathe. Rest easy knowing that you know absolutely every detail that you are supposed to know in this very moment. The rest might be revealed to you at a later date… If not, you weren’t supposed to know. Let it go.

7. No one has the power to make you feel a certain way. You own how you feel and choose how to feel. You can’t blame anyone for where you’re at, how you’re feeling, or how you’ve dealt with things. Own it and choose wisely.

8. People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace that and know that no matter which one it is, they are all meaningful and no less important one way or the other.

9. Today is a new day!!

10. Financial ruin is a shitty and slippery slope… Keep on top of your finances and know where to draw the line! Credit is not free money. Everything has a price.

11. No one’s got it all figured out! If they do, careful ’cause when the wheels come off, it’s gonna be a train wreck! Life is a journey. If we all had it figured out, we’d all be enlightened… If we were all enlightened, would there be a point? Plus, messing up and figuring it out is all the FUN!

12. Be patient. In every aspect of your life, be patient. Life’s so much sweeter when you slow down and enjoy the small pleasures that life has to offer if you’re willing to look for them.

13. Travel. Gaining an appreciation for other cultures will enrich you beyond your wildest dreams. Soak it in and do it as much as possible.

14. Seek out adventure in unexpected places.

15. Face your fears head on. The rush you behold after facing a fear is one of the highest natural highs I ever have experienced. Experience that. Be fearless.

16. I’ve opened enough bill folds and had my heart sink enough times to know that I can afford to make my waiter or waitress’ night. If you can too, do it.

17. A healthy mind has an easy breath. Know that you can breath through anything.

18. Over indulgence once in a while isn’t such a bad thing. Over indulgence all the time is a bad thing. Balance is key.

19. Volunteer your time to a charity that means something to you. There is no greater gift than your time and your love. Give just for the sake of giving.

20. It’s never too late… for anything! Change is a good thing.

21. Grand gestures mean someone did something wrong. Don’t look for the grand gestures, instead appreciate the small gestures.

22. Smile more. You can never smile enough. Along with this, say your please and thank you‘s more than you think you should. You never know the impact those simple words have on people around you. Show kindness.

23. People who are dissatisfied with themselves will try to break you… It’s not the end of the world; they’re simply scared to death that you did not settle for mediocrity.

+1 for good measure…

People will derail you along the way. Pain will strike. Shit happens. Smile and continue on your journey while staying true to yourself. Know that these things that may seem like “obstacles” at first glance, are actually OPPORTUNITIES and moments for growth and transformation!

Here’s to an awesome 2011 and many more lessons!

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I will greet this day with love in my heart. 

I will love the sun for it warms my bones; yet I will

love the rain for it cleanses my spirit.

I will love the light for it shows me the way; yet I will

love the darkness for it shows me the stars.

I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart; yet

I will endure sadness for it opens my soul.

– Og Mandino

small pleasures

It seems the unfamiliar makes us a little uneasy, a wee bit timid, maybe even sad, and at times even scared. We fear the unknown. Why is this? My mom wasn’t having the greatest of days today. “Pissed off at life,” she said. My mother is this beautiful woman, and not just beautiful in the physical sense but far beyond! She has a radiant heart; one that is kind, one that is giving, and one that has endured life and all its unexpected moments with grace. Her humour is something that has shaped her and her smile is just another facet of what makes her so beautiful, so when I saw an unfamiliar face today it made me sad. Why?

Simply put, I was fearful of the unknown. I was fearful of an unfamiliar face and fearful of the darkness that resides in all of us. Positivity is preached everywhere now it seems. I get it – I went to see the Dalai Lama speak of peace, I’ve heard what a big deal Oprah is and her quest to better the world by making us each live our lives to the fullest. I take a gander in the “self help” section of Chapters every once in a while. Is this why I’m fearful of bad days, a sad face, and the unfamiliar darker side of life?

I think we’re all warranted to those bad days, sad times, and being uncomfortable in unfamiliar situations. It’s simple to be thankful for the big things in our lives: our health, our family, our home. That’s the easy stuff – that’s the familiar stuff. We should be thankful for these blessings but also find solace in the unfamiliar seemingly negative aspects of life, and see that everything is a blessing if we are willing to look hard enough.

Be thankful for the darker side of life; the uncertainties, the inconsistencies, the curveballs and the shit that is dealt to each and every one of us. We don’t need to be having the best day everyday. I think it’s okay to be pissed off at life every once in a while, but remember that the unfamiliar grants us these amazing opportunities of new adventure and new perspective.

Maybe the big things weren’t working out for my mom in that exact moment but it granted her this awesome opportunity to come back to the small stuff and find beauty in the unexpected. Being forced to find the joy in the small stuff is a blessing.

The Bike Nerd put so poetically when he said, “We all have our reasons why we could be grumpy everyday, or we can find “stamp-size” things in our life and let ourselves smile.” For me, it’s Madeleine cookies (not only for their name but also their deliciousness). For my mom, it was a simple email from a friend and an unexpected coffee.

Revel in those small pleasures – life’s a lot sweeter when you do.

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His Holiness Came and I Saw.

He refers to himself as, “a simple Buddhist Monk.” His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama, temporal and spiritual leader of the Tibetan people graced Toronto with his presence this past week, as tens of thousands gathered as the Dalai Lama spoke of “Human Approaches to World Peace.”

Tibetan flags swirled in the hands of such inspired hearts, all joined together in hopes of a more peaceful existence. His Holiness entered with grace and humility and was greeted with standing ovation as he humbly bowed to each member of the audience.

“So, sit down,” he said with a shake of his hands, to only confirm both his kindness and unassuming nature. The audience let out a relieved laugh upon this sweet gesture. Once His Holiness was comfortably siting, he laughed saying, “Very strong spotlight,” to which he revealed a visor. Clearly pleased with his joke, he giggled to himself with the candour that only a man of 75 years old can get away with and perched the visor on his head.

His Holiness began with the simple notion that, on a fundamental level, we are all the same. Physically, mentally, emotionally, we are all the same. As he put it so eloquently, “Everyone want happy life.” So simple, so truthful, so honest. We all want a happy life. His speech was charming and much more reminiscent of a conversation rather than a formal address as he continually reminded us of our humanity’s oneness.

His message was simple, logical and sincere. He explained the way in which all religions are based upon warm heartedness and carried this theme throughout. Love, compassion, and forgiveness are all we need. He explained that openness is key and once we begin to communicate and interact with one another as brothers and sisters, opportunities arise and peaceful interactions will commence.

“Respect other’s interests and listen,” were simple words of advice, amongst many that he offered the audience. Much like his speech, the Dalai Lama’s approach to world peace is deliberate and unhurried. Peaceful methods, for him, come from individuals and it begins from within. He believes that peace of mind can be achieved once your actions are promoted from the heart rather than a forceful place. To continually go through life understanding that others are a part of yourself, he believes will lead you to a more peaceful existence.

His Holiness went on in realistic form to make clear that this is an ongoing journey, where a calm mind is essential. He believes fear keeps us from our peaceful existence. “Open mind. Open heart. Trust.” For the Dalai Lama, this is what it is to conquer fear and instill a healthy mental attitude. Too much of a self-centered attitude creates more fear, more anxiety and more worry. He made clear that we must practice compassion, forgiveness and tolerance towards our brothers and our sisters to nurture a more peaceful way of life.

Simply put, the Dalai Lama says, “Peace will come through our actions.” Fear not what compassion and kindness will bring you, instead show your love and let the world start changing around you.

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sky diving in akron, NY

There’s really not a whole lot to say. Skydiving. That single word instills fear in most, excitement in some, and a stomach churning, gut wrenching, sinking feeling in the lucky ones.

I went skydiving! If I were responsible for getting myself out of that plane, there is absolutely, 100%, never been more clear in my life, no chance that I would have been able to plunge 10,000 feet from the wings of that rickety, old, five person plane. Saying this plane was a five person plane is misleading and deceiving. Pilot dude had a seat while the rest of us sat in scrunched up little balls, quivering as we waited to voluntarily jump out of the midget plane.

If you’ve never been, go. If you have? Go again. If you think it’s crazy, you’ll likely be the one who enjoys it the most in your group. Yes, your body will ask why you are doing this to yourself when you’re free-falling from 10,000 feet, but rest assured, a good body will always bounce back. Breathe in and let yourself go!

Thank you Akron, NY for what I’m sure was the biggest thrill in my life, to date.

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