Day Eleven (Friday September 11th) Scared to date the nice guy…
We’re afraid of rejection.
Okay, that was harsh. Everyone; men and women are afraid of rejection. Perhaps there are a select few who claim they’re not, but they’re probably even more insecure than the average Joe and simply overcompensating (and most likely walking around with a popped collar). Now, here’s what I’ve noticed about this idea of rejection and how it makes sense that nice girls often date *assholes and why nice guys often date *bitches. It all comes down to rejection.
In dating a complete jerk, we’re actually protecting ourselves. Although I’d say most people date in hopes of something “more” – whatever that means, there is obviously always the chance that it doesn’t work out or simply fizzles. If we’re lucky, a breakup might happen on mutual terms (even “mutual terms” is questionable). Anyways, the chance of a collapsed courtship is pretty likely, especially when young so in dating a jerk you are protecting yourself. Say this jerk decides you’re not what they’re looking for; well at that point it’s easy to take that rejection because “they’re such an asshole.” You see – easy to get over and easy to take when they’re a jerk whereas if you were dating a nice person, that’s a serious blow if they don’t want to be with you and there’s no default response to make it okay as we discussed with dating jerks.
Dating the nice guy is seriously putting yourself out there. It’s scary. I firmly believe this is why I date assholes. It’s not scary, shocking, or even surprising when the asshole lets ya down or pulls some douchebag move… because they’re assholes!! Perhaps it comes down to the fear of being hurt. Scared to date the nice guy because I might actually get hurt.
Now go face a fear; do something that scares you!