Tag Archives: save the earth

Where the hell have I been?

Haven’t been to my blog in nearly a month and wordpress has gone and changed the look.  Oy vay. My apologies! I don’t think I could even begin to explain my absence. Oh wait, here’s my overview of MMMMMOOOVEMBERRRRRR!

CHECK OUT   Day 1 – 30Day 31 – 61

MOVEMBER Day 62 – 90

First off, to all you peeps that grew a mustache for prostate cancer – much love to you!! Growing that facial hair on account of a good cause should not go unmentioned!! *I did not grow a mustache for the event, but appreciate those who did.

Nov. 1- Fear of H1N1 instilled in all of us. Broski was sick and I still hugged him!!! Bitch slapped that H1N1 in the face. I’m tough. I might also be afraid of intimacy. The fear of intimacy is in the top ten most common fears folks. You are not alone!

Nov. 2- I am alarmed about the topic of obesity. My sister and I thought mini sugar donuts and beer was a good choice after volleyball. Noooo sir. I started working out tonight. It’s been over two weeks since my 10km run. I don’t have an excuse.

Nov. 3- Fear of not delivering. I might have stretched the truth in delivering a certain something and then it got lost in the mail. I would not accept failure so I did everything in my power to produce! I did, but will NEVER AGAIN use FedEx!!!!

Nov. 4- I held a snake. A very small one but nonetheless it was a snake. Pet man was very friendly. It was his new ‘baby’… MMMMAGINE I ever bought a snake and called it my ‘baby’. Pet names aren’t cool. No pun intended.

Nov. 5- Again, scared to share my work. Shared what my friend and I had been working on for so long for a charity event in Toronto. The ladies assured us, they loved it. The Darling Home For Kids’ A Night In New York! raised $120,000 NOT BAD, NOT BAD AT ALL! Huge thanks to all that supported the event!

Nov. 6- I tried cottage cheese. That shit is disgusting, but I wouldn’t have known I still hate it unless I tried, so I did. Yuck.

Nov. 7- Scared of barn animals. Not sure if this is the hygiene factor or the size or maybe actually liking them and then fitting the stereotype of small town kids, but I fear barn animals, so I went down to the Royal Winter Fair with my grandparents and LOVED IT! Horse jumping is probably the coolest sport, ever! I love it! Cows are amazing. They even get their hair ‘did’- yes, with BLOW DRYERS!!! It’s some serious business showing your cows. I saw the best of the best and loved it.

Nov. 8- Shared the wedding photos I took last month with the happy new couple. We sat together on the couch, me playing monkey in the middle as we looked through all the photos. Karen and Dave, I’m forever in debt to you for building my confidence, and being so reassuring that I could do it. Sharing your day meant a lot to me and I’m glad I was the person able to capture your memories on film.

Nov. 9- Holy Jeeze, scared to kill the earth! Green I am, but I have so much to learn about the earth and green happenings. Read a fantastic article in Reader’s Dijest about a woman who has gone above and beyond your wildest dreams in a quest to save the earth. Ignorance is bliss and unfortunately this life lesson is becoming crystal clear with each piece of information I gather and the older I get. I’m scared for the fate of my our future! It’s our moral challenge of our age; to save the earth. Easy to ignore, but simple action can change this fate. A change in your diet alone can cut about ½ of what’s needed to avoid the worst effects of global warming. No, you don’t need to become a hippie vegan; simply cut back on meat consumption. It’ll do wonders for your health too. Just an added bonus.

Nov. 10- Paranormal Activity. Demons scare me.

Nov. 11- Back to trying to teach myself guitar after a short five month break. Scared of the failure I suppose? I’m at a loss with this one and why I’m always so scared to get back at it. Maybe just worried I’ll damage my family’s hearing.

Nov. 12- Fear of putting a pen to paper. DO NOT ASK ME WHY. I’m pretty sure this goes back to fear of failure. Regardless, the fear is there and I did all that I could in my physical power to sit at my desk and not allow myself to move from my desk until I started what a literary agent told me I should ‘most definitely pursue.’ Sometimes my own stupidity/fears really shock me, amaze me, and piss me off.

Nov. 13- Scared to think outside the box. Inspired by David Hall to pursue what I think is meaningful and beautiful. Art is important, so embrace it! Seriously though, check it out HERE.

Call me ultra lame but I made the next few days about trying new foods or foods I’m sure I hate… Before this experiment I was sure the only things in the world I don’t like are anchovies and olives. NEWS FLASH – there is some nasty ass shit out there to be tried. Enjoy.

Nov. 14- Black liquorice… Still REVOLTING to me. That taste is simply god awful!

Nov. 15- Seaweed stew from some little Korean joint in the city. No thank you ever again. Apparently I hate a lot of foods. Still wouldn’t dare call myself a picky eater. Trying these foods I think proves that.

Nov. 16- Pickled eggs from my local Denningers. I just had a gag reflex thinking about it again. I kept it down, but just barely.

Nov. 17- This may sound ridiculous, but jello. My dad has always hated jello because of its consistency. Well, that has now rubbed off on me, so to rev up this challenge I found jello/tofu pie. This is what I’m told is in it; 3 oz. box of jello- any flavour, 1 box silken tofu (firm), 1 graham cracker crust (reduced fat). Do not accept this if it is offered to you. I’m just dumb and sought out tofu jello as I don’t eat meat. I mean that jello ham salad they have at the grocery store would’ve been perfect but we don’t live in a perfect world so I did what I could.

Nov. 18- I had had enough of this food business at this point so I decided today would be the last. I looked up weird food combinations that people like. Well, turns out a lot of people believe grilled cheese sandwiches paired with dill pickles on them are delicious. Also, people seem to believe peanut butter sandwiches mixed with anything/everything disgusting under the sun are just divine… I chose the grilled cheese and pickles combo. Hardly worthy of a gag-like reflex the pickled eggs gave me, but definitely not how I will be eating my future grilled cheese sandwiches.

Nov. 19- Worked at the gallery tonight for an opening reception where you get to meet the artists. I’m always scared to tell the artists when their art really means something to me, but with courage on my side for the evening, I spoke to one artist about his work and let him know how inspiring it was. He was extremely gracious and very thankful I shared my sentiments with him.

Nov. 20- Home alone over night. I’ve been living with quite a few roommates for a very long time so to be thrown a night on my own was really scary. Believe me, you hear every creek! Yes, I’m well aware at this point what a pussy I am.

Nov. 21- Tonight I learned a lot of hard life lessons. Life lessons can suck. The worst part is that you’ve usually heard them before and you already know the life lesson, but until you learn them firsthand, you’re screwed and susceptible. Tonight I faced the fear of trying to please everyone and failing miserably. C’est la vie and it won’t happen again. Sometimes you gotta look out for numero uno!

Nov. 22- Applied to Axe Canada. Now, this is a fear for many reasons. 1.You really have to put yourself out there. 2.Some see it as immoral… I say to them, it is what you make it! 3.I had to share a terribly embarrassing video where I pimp myself out (that’s putting it mildly) with co-workers because I’m not as tech savvy as I’d like to believe. This video is also being shared with complete strangers. Amazing.

Nov. 23- This whole challenge has brought out how much I worry about what other people think of me. Well thankfully a friend of mine pointed out that often times it’s your friendly self who is the most judgmental and I have to agree. Don’t get me wrong, there will be times in life that others will judge you, but more often than not you think someone is judging you when it’s just you being the only idiot judging yourself. Wow, have you lost me yet? Now conscious of this tidbit I felt a bit more empowered as I enter the last leg of my challenge. Scary thought swallowing the fact that I might be the biggest obstacle in my own life.

Nov. 24- I’m scared to death of losing a loved one. Life’s precious, don’t ever take it for granted, and realize how lucky you are to have your health. Matt went into the hospital today to prepare for his bone marrow transplant. He is fearless! I didn’t ignore today – instead took special note of how scared I am but also to note how fragile we all are. We’re not invincible and that’s a frightening fact.

Nov. 25- Homichlophobia: Fear of fog. I promised my sister I would help her paint today and although terrified of driving in the fog, I faced that blanket of fog head on. I don’t drive often and the last time I drove in fog I wrapped my car around a pole so this was kind of a big deal for me. I must really love my sister!

Nov. 26- Fear of objects flying at my head. I went to the batting cages. Pretty sure the last time I held a baseball bat was when I played T-ball, so you can imagine how good I was; obviously not embarrassing but definitely not good. We started slow and worked our way up. I think I tried to improve too quickly because I really couldn’t keep up. Meh, faced the fear of embarrassing myself and also having objects fly at my head.

Nov. 27- Apparently a lot of people are frightened when it comes to crossing bridges. By no means am I trying to lessen this fear, but it’s not one I have ever even considered. Today I decided to test myself and head down to what I thought would be considered a cool bridge. There’s this massive tree that lies across Bronte Creek where I run and I’ve seen people fish from there or use it to cross the creek. Mind you this creek is pretty big and at this time of year the water’s pretty strong! Turns out it was a bit nerve-racking. So, to all you people who think you’re fearless and hardcore: I once thought that, but once you start testing yourself, turns out we’re not so badass after all, or at least as badass as we’d like to think.

Nov. 28- I may have applied to another ridiculous job that requires me really putting myself out there; whether or not I actually want these jobs as much as I want to test myself is still up for debate.

Nov. 29- Another photo shoot ladies and gents. Although you’re behind the camera as a photographer, you are center stage for the people you’re photographing and that is the part that scares the shit out of me. They may or may not have huge expectations but I know how high my expectations are so I really do psych myself out. Again, damn it, I’m in my own way! Still did it so I’m counting it as a fear faced. It is getting easier, promise.

Nov. 30- LAST TEN DAYS! Coming Soon!!!! Tomorrow, actually, because tomorrow is the last day. Where the hell have the last 100 days gone?? Can’t wait to recap the highlights!

Check back because you WON’T want to miss the last 10!!

Much love to anyone who cared enough to follow parts of this adventure, all of it, really whatever part you may have played, I am so appreciative and have had such a blast!! Thank you. xo mkr

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61 days down, 39 to go

God, who do I think I am?? Post about my new subscription feature (on sidebar –>) and never post again. Conceited much!?! That’s not me; my sincerest apologies. Here’s the rundown of October. 61 days down, 39 to go.

You can check out THE AWESOME-NESS OF FEAR to see what this challenge is all about.

Check out day 1 – 30HERE

31. Fear of what others think: threw that care away and gave a homeless man money. Being a small town girl in the big city of New York stirred these surprising moments of adventure and self reflection that only new places can bring about.

32. Fear of the unknown aaaand spraining an ankle, and getting lost, and strangers who could attack me, etc. etc. I ran off the path in an unknown place, very far from home… literally, not metaphorically (Bronx River Parkway in New York while training for my first 10km race). My aunt will not be happy if she sees this.

33. Fear of going back on my word. I did something I said I wouldn’t. Now, this one works both ways. I’m always afraid to go back on my word, probably because I want to stick to it, but sometimes it’s okay to go back on your word. Have I lost you yet? Well, point is, I did something I said I wouldn’t… I’m probably uneasy about it because I do what I say and I say what I mean, so now where does that leave me!?!

34. I broke my own rules. I went against my own set of rules that have been very strategically set for when it comes to the opposite sex. Shall leave it at that.

35. Interview with Lit Agent… WTF?! Lord knows how this one fell in my lap, but it did and I thank my lucky stars everyday. I was petrified.

36. Afraid of rejection, but put myself out there… aaaand got rejected. Awesome.

37. Finally sat down to pull together a business plan of sorts for a program I’ve been putting together for young women. Scared to make it real; scared to follow through. Believe me, this following through business is a big one for me. It must have something to do with the fear of failure. We shall see.

October Wedding

38. Bought a bridal magazine. I’m not a romantic, nor have I ever imagined my wedding and I would like to say that traditional just isn’t my bag, so to pick up a bridal magazine before boarding a plane was a scary thing for me. Again, the “what will people think??” or worse, I didn’t want whoever I sat beside to think I was that lame girl who plans her wedding before there’s even an engagement ring on her finger. Then I realized, if they ask I can just let them know the truth of why I bought it, which is for my first ever wedding photography gig.

39. Scared of these Darling Home meetings (charity committee for their annual gala). Again, the not being liked, the fear they will reject another one of my ideas… God I’m sounding lame and insecure at this point.

40. New fear: high heels. Lesson learned at work from some old broad; verbatim, “Don’t wear heels or you’ll need surgery.” Oh, and, “You won’t have your youth forever.” Thank you woman for not letting me leave work feeling too good about myself. Whatever, she’s now instilled the fear of heels in me and I still wear those things!

41. Gas light came on and I played the old Kramer game – see how far you can go before your car dies. Nothing like a Sunday drive. Fear of getting stranded on the side of the road. I suppose being stranded anywhere on my own is a fear of mine. Really though, what 22 year old girl wants to be stranded anywhere all alone? It’s what horror films are made of!!

42. First ever dry family event (for everyone). It was short and sweet. I really have nothing more to say about it. Short and sweet.

43. Ate dinner at a restaurant by myself. I’ve done it before and can’t remember if it was a fear of mine or if I was even uncomfortable. Interesting thing is, before I started this challenge and was asking people for suggestions, almost everyone I asked mentioned dining alone. So I’m really not even sure if this was my own fear or others. The “fear” I suppose was heightened seeing that it was in my hometown that I haven’t lived in since I was 17 years old. Met a nice new friend and found time to finish my book – most definitely worth dining alone.

windows of opportunity

44. Confronted old hags about their hate crimes on the earth! These ladies left their car idling while they smoked their dirty cigarettes. The nerve of some people! Take that window of opportunity and say what’s on your mind.

45. Took photos for family friends and my sister’s real estate listing. Taking photos for people I know is a bit daunting. Homes are the pride and joy of most people so I wanted to make sure these photos were great and did the home justice.

60 Mae Court Campbellville

46. Ran my first 10km race (in the dark and in costumes) with my friend Laine.

47. Wedding day! Not mine. Not facing that fear during my 100 day challenge! It was my first gig as a wedding photographer. I was all on my own and the memories of the day were left in my hands.

K&D

48. Sought out some zombies at Wonderland’s Halloween Haunt. Faced a pill poppin’ techno beat blastin’ laser light RAAAAAAGE! This place will change you.

49. Tried an overhand serve with my new beach volleyball team. That shit’s not like riding a bike. Doesn’t matter how many years you played rep volleyball! The serve ended badly and I got kicked off the team. DON’T DO THINGS THAT SCARE YOU – IT’LL PROBABLY END BADLY! OMG! Just kidding!!! I didn’t get kicked off the team. Instead we all just shared a laugh at how awful it was and agreed I should stick to underhand until I start lifting weights, which I refuse to do, so underhand it is!! (Weights are another fear of mine. The whole gym thing in general, really.)

50. EFFED THE DOG HARD… I don’t have a fabulous fear I faced for day fifty and how good would that have been?! “Fifty fears faced” UUUGHHHHHH! I will perform twice in one day before this thing is done. I WILL have 100 things by the end of this challenge!

51. Attended a conference for social media – new people, new surroundings, going to learn new stuff… it’s all scary. I’m out of practice when it comes to lectures. By the by, this thing was awful and they tried feeding me my free meal in a brown bag! Rude.

52. New position in hot yoga – standing on your head is no simple task and to trust yourself not to break your own neck is a frightening feat!

Happy Birthday Ange!!

53. Because I am no longer a student, nor do I go out like I did while living in FUNdon, I’m now very out of shape when it comes to drinking. Mmm let me rephrase. I’m out of shape in terms of drinking liquor. Wine is another story my friends! So, at my friend’s 30th b-day party I agreed to the aqua coloured shot called Hypnotic. Never again. That shit is rancid and there’s nothing hip about it.

54. Called to book my first ever Fantasia party. Not only that, but also visited my first stag shop. My sister pulled into the parking lot and said we weren’t leaving until I went in. I learned a lot, saw too much, and realized this Fantasia party might just be hilarious. Also found out how funny porno titles can be… might just be my new favourite game!

The buzz on bees

55. Bees. They ruined my first day of grade 1 and I hold a grudge! I also know how badly my body swells up when one of those things lays into me, so I’m scared of bees, or so I thought. Turns out we should hate wasps, not bees! Eff wasps.

56. Filmed my video application for Axe Canada with Tina. Don’t like being in front of the camera because I’m an awkward mess. I’m also quite a passive person and to say I’m applying for this job means I’m all of a sudden going to have to be an aggressive individual.

57. Sent off my first ever real press release to my boss. He said he liked it. Mostly because I pimped him out hard in the press release, I’m sure of it. What can I say? He’s a talented guy! You should most definitely check Mr. David Hall out – veerrrryyy talented director and filmmaker.

58. Hot yoga by myself. Didn’t even realize this was intimidating for me until it was happening. I guess I just always seem to have someone to go with, but going on my own was an entirely new experience. It was a good one, just new and uncomfortable and a little tricky to get into.

59. Went to see Suzanne Somers give a talk at the convention center in Toronto. Yes, the mom from Step By Step. Don’t be jealous. She opened my eyes to the world of cancer and the world of mistreating your body. This also stirred the worry of being ill-informed or worse, uninformed. Somers represents alternative medicine and the medical world pretty much hates her for everything she represents, nonetheless, she brings a new perspective that I will continue to work hard to inform myself about. I’m most definitely fearful of becoming an uninformed individual.

first time shooter

60. Guns. I think this speaks for itself. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. Those are some powerful beasts that should not be taken lightly. Never have I had a high quite like I had as I shot my first gun. I’d do it again in a second.

61. Scared of getting old. My girlfriend asked me last-minute if I’d like to go out in Toronto for Hallow’s eve. Of course I said yes, but like I mentioned earlier, I don’t go out much anymore… at least to clubs. So there I was. How quickly you forget the scene – eye sex all over the place, so much ass grabbing, and how simple it is for women to get a drink bought for her! None of this appeals to me. Worst part, I didn’t know any of the songs these kids were singing along to. I’m scared of getting old and falling out of the loop of life. I’ve now gained some perspective and realized “getting young” in clubs is for desperate fools and that music was the worst so why would I want to know those songs anyways?! Faced it and I’ll probably face it again, because bottom line, I love to dance!

Hallow's eve Oct. 30th in TO

My apologies that it took me this long to get October’s rundown out there, but there it is. 1 missed day – blast it!!!!! Promise, I’m thinking I will make up for it on day 100 🙂

So, where does all this leave me? Honestly, a bit stressed out. This is much harder than anticipated. It’s hard to find something everyday that scares you, but I’m doing my best. I do feel like I hit a bit of a low this month and ran dry for ideas for a while, but I’ve regained my excitement as we near the end.

I’m still doing this blindly but consider it a success that I’m still moving forward. I mean, it’s gotta count for something, right?!. The best part of this challenge has been the simple task of taking action. This whole thing has made me an active person in the sense that I’m engaged with the world in a way I’ve never been before. Talking gets tiresome and I was ready to take action and search out experiences that test you, that make you uncomfortable, and that show you something new.

You’ll never learn a thing about yourself always playing it safe!

xo mkr

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