I’m grateful for frank conversations.
Do you ever wonder how often the truth is diluted; whether it be to spare feelings, get what one wants, embarrassment, to make things “easier”, or simply because it’s too difficult to communicate our true feelings, I think it would be safe to say the truth often becomes a distilled version of itself. On rare occasion do I find people to be frank. Funnily enough, we’re quick to think others are rude or unkind if they speak truths. Of course there are nicer ways than other to deliver messages but now we veer into semantics in trying to find some semblance of what truth really even means.
Perhaps due to its rarity, or simply because it’s often what you need to hear most, I appreciate frank conversations. I’m grateful for the people who bellow into my life and offer some frank, straight to the point, hit you where it hurts, truth. And it is more often than not, the people who bellow into my life above those who drift in!
Able to argue any side of an argument, finding a balance is often difficult for me, and what’s even more difficult is truly deciding where I stand. I want truth. I want frankness. I want love. I want kindness. There must be a way these can all magically work together in perfect alignment. There must!
Simply put, I think truthfulness comes from your heart and so long as you’re speaking in frank form and from a place of grace – you’re safe from those murky waters of distilled truths.
I have now completed what I set out to do – face 100 fears in 100 days. You can check out The Awesome-ness of Fear to see how it all began. The last 10 days were especially important to me. Here’s day 91, 92, 93, 94, and 95.
My last ten fears that were faced…
Rats, truth, death, needles & heights coming in @ 10,9,8,7,6!
#10 FEAR OF RATS!
I don’t know who the jerk was in Halifax that told me degus were in the rat family because believe me, after holding a degu and now a rat, those two are nothing alike. Rats are vile. I thought degus were actually cute for a moment. There wasn’t a sliver of even a millisecond that I thought this rat was cute, cuddly, or any other synonym which portrays anything positive about the dirty rodents with skin tails. Just imagine a skin tail!!!! This fear only made me want to go shower after facing it. If we’re being completely honest, I never even got to hold the thing on my own, that’s how frightened I was and the lady thought I’d throw the thing on the floor and that’d be the last she’d see of it… whatever is what I have to say to her!! So I touched a rat.
#9 FEAR OF SPEAKING OUT
I’ve been liking the tangible fears that really give me this shot of instant adrenaline, like holding a rat/touching a rat, but then there’s that rush I get for sticking up for myself, speaking out, or just saying something I’d usually keep my tongue tied on. I value friendships, relationships in general really are very important to me, but there are most definitely times where I hold my tongue rather than speaking my truth. Perhaps I think it might be easier that way, or I don’t like confrontation, or I’m afraid my friend won’t like what I have to say. Why I don’t speak up all the time is beyond me. Of course there will be times when holding your tongue is the right thing to do, but when someone mistreats you, say something! They’re not worth it if you two can’t work through the argument. Arguments are healthy. It’s impossible to never have differing views on a topic and that’s okay. Point of reference – if you’re fighting all the time, maybe some self reflection and honesty with yourself might be in order, because that’s not healthy either, but an argument here and there is most definitely a good thing. Standing up for yourself is even better!
#8 FEAR OF DEATH
Perhaps morbid, but it is a fear of mine. I think it’s a fear in all of us. It forever looms over each of us, affects us all, and touches us at one point or another. It’s bizarre that every minute of every day death is touching someone, some way, somehow, and yet the world goes on, just as it did. I think that’s the hard part. Life goes on and we’re left to somehow unravel a way to continue on with our lives with this gaping hole, in a way we won’t forget our loved one. There’s no method for grievance, no preparing us for the inevitable, it’s a matter of life we’re all left to face. If I am able to prolong someone’s life, or even save it, I will. Today I signed up for One Match, a stem cell and marrow network.
A landmark moment for One Match from One Match’s website:
“2007 marks a major shift for the Unrelated Bone Marrow Donor Registry. Bone marrow is the home of ‘stem cells’ which are the building blocks of blood itself. However, stem cells are also found in the peripheral blood stream (circulating blood) and in umbilical cord blood.
Canadian Blood Services supports the collection of stem cells from both the peripheral blood stream and bone marrow. Therefore, to better reflect the changes in stem cell donation and increase awareness and recognition of the organization, the Unrelated Bone Marrow Donor Registry is renamed OneMatch Stem Cell and Marrow Network.”
#7 FEAR OF NEEDLES
I gave blood today. I don’t know why it hasn’t become easier for me. Look at me, already making people nervous to give blood. In all honesty, it’s not a big deal at all; pretty sure it’s just a psychological thing, but it’s mind over matter, as I always say PLUS you get juice boxes and cookies! What could be better? Canadian Blood Services is an amazing organization with some unbelievable people who work for them. They are sure to make you feel comfortable the whole way through, whether it’s your first time giving blood, or your hundredth time giving blood. Their tag line is bang on, It’s in your to give, and it’s in such need. I’m still a little embarrassed to say that it took someone very close to me to be blood transfusion dependent before I starting giving blood, but I suppose it is one of those things, you don’t think about until you’re directly affected. My cousin Matt is this remarkable individual who was blood transfusion dependent and I think he is fearless. Facing the fear of needles is the smallest of support I can lend and I will, again and again. Please read the letter Matt wrote just over a year ago -HERE-. Save a life.
#6 FEAR OF HEIGHTS
Promise we looked cooler than that and didn’t even have a guide!!
This was amazing! My poor friend Dragana, who is deathly afraid of heights, being the good friend she is came along with me to face this fear! We went to a high ropes course in London where we got strapped in, then let loose at 40 feet in the air. If you’re unfamiliar with high ropes, think suspended obstacle course/tight rope walking; in other words, awesomeness. Before getting up there I wouldn’t have said I was afraid of heights, but many were quick to tell me, the fear of heights is actual innate (perhaps why bungee jumping and sky diving are still in business ?!), we’re all afraid of heights when it comes down to it! I’d highly recommend checking out high ropes for anyone and everyone! No pun intended! Mind you, the guys who work there might chirp you if you go slow… yes, they chirped me because those asshole 8 year olds were showing me up. Kids are fearless, ugh to be them!!
My last 5 fears that I faced are coming soon!!
@5,4,3,2,1 we’ve got embarrassment, cooking, spiders, ugliness, and singing in public… OH BOY!
Day Twelve (Saturday September 12th ) Scary thought: being honest.
An interesting concept… the media has created fake love. Uhh, well yes, yes they have! The trouble is, now we’re trying to find this fake love and that my friend is a fantasy with trouble written all over it.
So in continuing with the idea that girls go for jerks out of self preservation, I will go on to say that the majority of us, whether you’re aware of it or not are quite contrived in our ways when dating someone new. Honestly, there’s just this idea that date one you are allowed to share x, y, and z and on date two, such and such… but I’m going to go ahead and say this is bullshit. And so I did and so I’ve been completely honest.
Why waste anyone’s time being meek and mild and well, to put it bluntly, why are we being so god-damn polite when dating new people? If I want to make an Asian joke, what’s the difference between making it when someone first meets me to waiting until down the road and then having buddy be offended?? I’ll tell you, there is no point and you’re wasting everyone’s time by being polite and dishonest with both yourself and buddy you’re out with.
That fake love you may or may not be reaching for doesn’t exist, so just be honest. It’s for the best.
Now go face a fear; do something that scares you!